Dearly Deployed: 9 in 10 serving personnel have missed monumental milestone moments due to military service

22 June 2026

• 9 in 10 serving personnel have missed monumental milestone moments due to military service
• Missing seeing their child take their first steps (29%), the birth of new baby (21%), saying goodbye to a dying family member (21%) and even their own wedding (17%)
• Despite these major sacrifices almost three quarters (73%) of spouses feel it’s worth it to see their serving person defend their country and are proud to belong to the wider Armed Forces community (73%)
• Ahead of Armed Forces Day (Saturday 27 June 2026), SSAFA is calling on the public to honour military families and their sacrifice by participating and supporting in its 13 Bridges event to ensure the charity can continue to be there for Armed Forces families as it has been for over 140 years.
  
  

A staggering 9 in 10 (91%) serving personnel have missed a monumental life milestone because of their military service, according to research commissioned by SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity.

Seeing their child take their first steps (29%) topped the list, along with the birth of a new baby (21%), saying goodbye to a dying family member (21%) and missing funerals of close family (20%) and friends (18%).

One in six (17%) have even missed their own wedding and had to reschedule as a result.

The research, released to mark Armed Forces Day 2026, highlights the stark sacrifices that our Armed Forces personnel must make in order to serve King and country.

Reasons for serving spouses and partners missing these moments include deployments (27%), being stationed overseas (29%) or miles away from family and friends (27%) or attending training courses (32%).

However, it’s also the families of the personnel left behind who shoulder sacrifices of a different kind too. Partners of serving personnel and veterans confessed they’ve experienced loneliness (44%), isolation (28%), interrupted career progression (33%) and almost a quarter feel a loss of identity (24%).

Missing family and friends (36%), parenting alone (33%) and frequent relocations (24%) rank as some of the hardest challenges military families face as a result of their loved one’s service. For over a third (35%) being unable to make plans in advance and the unpredictability (26%) were also tough situations military families find themselves in.

Yet, despite navigating these major sacrifices, nearly three quarters (73%) feel the sacrifices are worth it to see their serving person defend their country and wear their uniform with pride (75%). 72% are grateful for the opportunities the military provides and are proud to belong to the wider Armed Forces community (73%).

For Janet Hirst, 51, these opportunities and sacrifices are part of daily life, which she willingly accepts, but concedes there are challenging times.

Her husband Craig, 50, serves in the Army, and has done for over 20 years, meaning Janet is often left to manage family life alone - raising their four children, including three with additional needs, while navigating long periods of separation.

Craig has missed Christmases, birthdays, first days at school and other major milestones, while Janet has had to shoulder the pressures of parenting alone – she was completely on her own for the first eight months of daughter Elen’s life, with no husband or close family nearby.

“It’s hard holding the fort, especially when things aren’t going well and there’s nobody to bounce things off,” she said. “Of course, we accept this as part of the life we chose, and I am pleased and proud to do it.

“I’m telling my story to encourage the public to support the military and their families and raise awareness of how different lives behind the wire can be to those on civvy street.

“I’m so proud of Craig and his service. I’m proud of my children and their resilience too. Most military families are quietly getting on with things."

Frequent postings also mean separation from wider support networks.

“Deployment takes you away from family and friends, but we’ve had some amazing opportunities and for that I’m grateful,” says Janet.

Over the years, SSAFA has provided support to the family at different stages of their lives - from practical help when they lived abroad to emotional support - and recently enabled them to take part in a short break at a specialist holiday centre for children with additional needs, giving them rare, uninterrupted time together.

“We would have been lost without SSAFA over the years.” says Janet.

Whilst military family life does bring its challenges, more than a third (34%) of partners of military personnel say they fully appreciate the time they spend as a family together. Access to independent support through charities (29%), seeing how resilient their children are (26%) and having the opportunity to live in different places around the country (24%) were also highlights.

And, whilst 80% of Brits mark Remembrance Day, only 6 in 10 (61%) celebrate Armed Forces Day, with just 40% of those who do realising the day marks an opportunity to show support for serving personnel and their wider families. Given this, it’s unsurprising that more than half (53%) of Armed Forces families often feel unseen by members of the public.

In response to these findings, SSAFA is calling on the British public to honour military families and their sacrifice this Armed Forces Day.

Whilst activities take place up and down the country over the weekend, this year Armed Forces Day will be celebrated on Saturday 27th June. Members of the public can participate in or donate to SSAFA’s flagship 13 Bridges event in London, or visit the Aldershot Armed Forces Weekend event.

Lynne Doherty, Director of Social Care Operations, added: “Families like Janet’s are often the unsung heroes many don’t see – and SSAFA is here to support them whether that’s practically or emotionally. Simply providing a supportive, listening ear when families feel there is nowhere else or no-one else to turn to whilst they quietly navigate frequent challenges can make a huge difference.

“This Armed Forces Day, we want to take the opportunity to bring people together to celebrate and champion the entire military community by encouraging the public to get involved in family focused events, whether that’s participating in or donating to our flagship 13 Bridges walk in London or virtually in locations across the country.”

 

Please note: the tile image used in this story was provided by the Ministry of Defence's Image Archive, under the Open Government License.