Live ChatArticle written by RAF PS&SWS Welfare Officer: Andrea Pemberton.
Menopause can affect military personnel while they manage demanding roles, routines, and performance expectations. In this article by Andrea, part one of two, a practical call is made for understanding and workplace support of your colleagues experiencing this change.
This article is Part 1 of 2. You can read part 2 here.
October is Menopause Awareness Month, and before half the men reading this quietly decide they have an urgent piece of mandatory training to complete, bear with me.
I know what some of you are thinking.
"Another article about menopause."
But whether it's your partner, wife, mum, sister, friend, colleague or the person sat opposite you in the office, menopause affects far more people than just the woman experiencing it. For those serving in the military community, it's often happening alongside deployments, exercises, shift work, family commitments, fitness standards and all the other demands that Service life brings. The reality is that menopause is about much more than hot flushes.
It's walking into a room and immediately forgetting why you went there. It's opening Outlook and wondering who filled your calendar with meetings. It's reading the same email three times before realising you've taken in absolutely none of it. In military terms, it's a bit like producing a flawless brief, delivering it confidently to the entire room, and then having absolutely no recollection of what you just said five minutes later.
Menopause is often described as a hormonal transition, but I prefer to think of it as a major software upgrade that nobody requested and which appears to have been released without any user acceptance testing (Windows 11 upgrade, anyone?).
I often explain menopause using the life cycle of a butterfly. Before menopause, many women feel they know themselves well. They've spent years building confidence, experience and resilience. They've figured out who they are, how they work and what matters to them.
They're the caterpillar.
Then comes the cocoon.
Most people think a caterpillar simply grows wings inside the chrysalis. It doesn't.
First, it turns itself into soup.
Actual soup.
Everything breaks down before it can be rebuilt.
For many women, perimenopause and menopause can feel remarkably similar. Sleep changes. Confidence changes. Emotions can become unpredictable. Energy levels fluctuate. Memory becomes less reliable. Things that have always been second nature suddenly require more concentration and effort. You can find yourself no longer feeling like the person you once were, whilst having absolutely no idea who you're becoming.
It's unsettling.
It's exhausting.
And sometimes it's lonely.
Now, because life enjoys a challenge, let's add military life into the equation. The military thrives on routine, consistency and performance. Menopause does not.
The RAF, Army and Royal Navy would quite reasonably like you rested, focused and operating at your best. Menopause sometimes replies with:
"The best I can offer today is four hours of sleep, a forgotten password, three hot flushes and the overwhelming feeling that I've walked into the wrong meeting."
If we're honest, menopause doesn't seem particularly interested in orders, instructions or policy guidance. If it was, somebody in Headquarters would have produced a JSP, three aide-memoires and a PowerPoint presentation years ago and we'd all know exactly what to do. Behind the humour, however, is a serious reality. Many women are working incredibly hard just to appear completely normal.
The officer delivering a briefing whilst silently battling a hot flush. The SNCO functioning on fragmented sleep. The civil servant wondering why their usually excellent memory doesn't feel quite as reliable as it once did. The experienced professional questioning their confidence despite being every bit as capable as they've always been.
The capability hasn't disappeared.
The person hasn't changed.
They're simply navigating one of life's biggest transitions whilst still getting the job done.
There's another important point worth making. Menopause doesn't come with a standard issue checklist. Not every woman experiences the same symptoms, and some experience very few symptoms at all. One woman may struggle with sleep and hot flushes, whilst another may never have a hot flush in her life. Some move through perimenopause and menopause with relatively little disruption, whilst others find the impact significant. That's why assumptions can be unhelpful and stereotypes can be dangerous.
Menopause should never become a convenient explanation for every forgotten password, missed deadline or moment of frustration. Women remain individuals, not hormonal caricatures.
Some of the lesser-known symptoms can be just as surprising as the better-known ones. Joint aches can make you feel as though you've suddenly aged ten years overnight. Changes in skin and hair are common. Tinnitus can appear out of nowhere. Some women experience dizziness, palpitations, dry eyes, altered taste and smell, heightened anxiety, burning mouth syndrome or increased sensory sensitivity.
Many of these symptoms don't immediately scream "menopause", which means women can spend months wondering what on earth is going on before joining the dots.
End of Part 1.
Read Part 2 here.