Live ChatArticle written by RAF PS&SWS Welfare Officer Andrea Pemberton.
For a lot of people in the RAF, being “away” isn’t just something that happens now and again on deployment. It can end up being a longer-term way of living. Serving unaccompanied or being geographically separated often means building a life in one place, while the people you care about most are somewhere else entirely.
It’s not always easy, and it takes a fair amount of resilience just to find your rhythm.
There are upsides, of course. You’ve got full control over your own space: eat what you want, when you want, no negotiating. The TV remote is yours, no competition. Nobody moves your stuff or questions your slightly odd dinner choices.
In some ways, it feels like freedom.
But there’s another side to it. Evenings can feel long and weekends sometimes drag – especially during the summer months with longer, warmer days – and there can be that quiet sense that life is ticking on somewhere else while you’re in a bit of a bubble.
You can be surrounded by people all day and still feel a bit cut off once things wind down. It’s something a lot of people experience, even if it doesn’t always get talked about.
Work itself usually isn’t the problem. The days are structured, busy, and there’s a real sense of purpose. You’ve got your team, a bit of banter, and everyone pulling in the same direction.
But once the working day finishes, that environment drops away quite quickly - and the contrast can hit more than you’d expect. It’s often the smaller moments that feel it most. Those evenings with nothing planned. Weekends that stretch out without much to anchor them.
That’s usually when the challenges of living away from home start to creep in.
Years ago, the mess helped fill a lot of that space. It was somewhere people naturally ended up to have a drink, catch up, feel part of something after hours. That still exists, but it’s not quite the same as it used to be. For many, it doesn’t play the same central role in social life anymore, and that can leave a bit of a gap.
What often replaces it is something more low-key: maybe a few drinks in a room, or a quiet one or two with a small group behind closed doors. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but it can make social time feel a bit narrower.
It’s easier to miss out on the wider sense of connection and without really noticing, the line between having a drink to socialise and having one just to pass the time can blur.
That’s where Alcohol Awareness Week comes in. It’s not about judging anyone or taking away the things people enjoy. Having a drink with colleagues, unwinding after work - those things can be positive and part of normal social life.
When you’re living away from home, however, alcohol can start to take on a slightly different role. It can become a way to fill space rather than share it. Something to mark the end of the day when there’s not much else going on.
The change is rarely obvious. It’s usually gradual with small habits building over time.
What started as occasional becomes more regular. Social turns into something you do on your own, or in smaller, more closed-off settings, without really thinking about it.
This isn’t about telling anyone what they should or shouldn’t be doing. It’s more about taking a moment to check in with yourself. Are the routines you’ve fallen into actually working for you, or have they just become the default?
Living away from family and close support does leave gaps, and it’s completely normal to try and fill them especially when loneliness starts to edge in.
However, not every gap has to be filled in the same way.
Sometimes it’s the small things that help most. Getting out for a walk instead of staying in. Making a loose plan for the evening. Spending time somewhere shared rather than always in your room. Even just having a proper conversation with someone instead of firing off messages can make a difference. Changing your surroundings, even briefly, can shift your whole day.
One of the RAF’s biggest strengths is its people, and you often see that in the little things: A quick “You alright?” in passing. Inviting someone along, even if it’s last minute. Sitting down for a cup of tea together after a long day.
Not everything social has to revolve around alcohol, and making space for other ways to connect really matters - especially for the people who might not say if they’re struggling.
Living away from home does take resilience, but being resilient doesn’t mean doing everything on your own or ignoring the habits that build up quietly over time.
Alcohol Awareness Week is just a chance to pause and take stock. Nothing heavy, nothing dramatic, just a bit of honest reflection. What’s helping, what isn’t, and whether a few small changes might make things a bit easier.
Because even though single-serving life can feel like you’re flying solo at times, no-one in the RAF is really on their own.
And, and more often than not, it’s the small connections that make the biggest differences.