Toolkits for Tough Times: Supporting relatives with their mental health

Article written in collaboration with RAF PS&SWS Welfare Officer, Jenny Morgan.

Supporting someone you care about through a period of poor mental health can feel uncertain and overwhelming. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or struggle to find the “right” approach, but often what matters most is simply being present.

Support can begin simply by creating a space where they feel safe enough to talk. This might be a quiet moment over a cup of tea or a gentle check‑in after noticing they seem a little withdrawn. When they choose to open up, the most meaningful thing you can do is listen, without trying to fix everything straight away. People often need to share their thoughts out loud, to feel heard and understood, before they can face the next step. It helps if you can avoid minimising what they feel or comparing their experience to something of your own. For many, simply releasing the emotions they’ve held inside for weeks or months can offer a noticeable sense of relief.

These conversations aren’t usually one‑offs. Checking in regularly, offering a steady presence, and keeping what they’ve shared confidential (unless you are worried about their safety) can help them feel supported rather than alone.

There may be times, however, when their struggles feel bigger than what either of you can manage on your own. Encouraging them to reach out to professionals can be a kindness, not a dismissal. Whether it’s the support of a PS&SWS Welfare Officer, or perhaps NHS Talking Therapies or Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, knowing where to turn can make professional help feel less intimidating. Offering to look up information, sit with them while they make a call, or accompany them to an appointment can ease the weight further.

Supporting someone else can take a toll, so it’s important to look after your own wellbeing too. Staying connected to your support network, resting, and keeping routines that help you feel grounded aren’t selfish - they make you better able to help.

Along the way, gently challenging unhelpful misconceptions can also make a difference. Many people still believe strong people don’t struggle, or that talking about mental health makes things worse. In reality, anyone can face difficulties, and honest conversations often bring comfort rather than harm.

You don’t need all the answers. Often, being a calm, compassionate presence is what truly helps someone begin to heal.